What is relationship anxiety?

Relationship anxiety is when a person experiences persistent doubt, fear, or worry in a relationship. They may need constant reassurance or ignore their own needs and wishes to please a partner.

Doctors call this relationship anxiety, or relationship-based anxiety. This article will explore the signs and causes of relationship anxiety, as well as some treatment and management options for couples.

What is relationship anxiety?

Relationship anxiety involves feelings of intense worry about a romantic or platonic relationship. Although health professionals are aware of this type of anxiety, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) does not include it.

Unlike other forms of anxiety, such as generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, doctors do not have specific guidelines to diagnose or treat relationship anxiety. Relationship anxiety encompasses some features of social anxiety disorder.

More specifically, both conditions can cause a person to experience significant discomfort ## about rejection. Although many people may worry about acceptance and reciprocal feelings in a relationship, anxiety tends to develop when a person experiences excessive fear or worry.

For example, anxiety can lead a person to worry about the future of a relationship.

People with relationship anxiety may end their relationships out of fear, or they may endure the relationship but with great anxiety.

The effects of this anxiety may hinder a person’s ability to function in the relationship.

How to spot the signs of relationship

anxiety The main symptoms of relationship anxiety are: excessive reassurance-seeking self-silencing partner accommodation The sections below will discuss each of these in more detail. Excessive reassurance-seeking Excessive reassurance-seeking is also common in social anxiety disorder and depression.

Some researchers suggest that excessive reassurance-seeking is related to interpersonal sensitivity.

Interpersonal sensitivity refers to a person’s reliance on others for constant evaluation and acceptance. People who exhibit excessive reassurance-seeking behavior may fear receiving a poor evaluation or not being accepted.

Self-silencing Self-silencing is another symptom shared across many mental health conditions. A 2023 study showed that women who are sensitive to rejection may be likely to engage in self-silencing to please their partner.

A person who self-silences may not express their tastes, opinions, or feelings to their partner, especially when these thoughts are different from their partner’s. People tend to engage in self-silencing behavior to appear similar to those whose acceptance they seek, and in an attempt to prevent rejection.

Over time, a person may silence themselves and make sacrifices to preserve the relationship. However, this has the potential to decrease relationship satisfaction.

Partner accommodation

Partner accommodation is a response from the other partner toward the anxious partner.

This is a common effectobserved in relationships where one or more people have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

What is friendship anxiety?

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Some experts suggest couples therapy, such as couples-based psychoeducational sessions, to help treat and manage relationship anxiety.

An older study from 2015tested the effectiveness of a single psychoeducational session. The session focused on addressing the patterns of behavior associated with relationship anxiety, including self-silencing, partner accommodation, and excessive reassurance-seeking.

The researchers found that after one session, the partner with relationship anxiety showed less reassurance-seeking and self-silencing behaviors. The non-anxious partner also demonstrated lower levels of accommodation for the partner with anxiety.

Different types of couples therapy include: Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) : EFT aims to strengthen the emotional connection between partners, increase their responsiveness to each other, and help them address negative interaction patterns. Gottman method therapy: This aims to build a strong foundation of friendship and focuses on managing conflict, creating shared meaning, and improving intimacy.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): This focuses on identifying and addressing destructive thought patterns and behaviors and replacing them with healthier interaction patterns. Integrative behavioral couple therapy (IBCT): This promotes acceptance of each other’s differences while addressing harmful behaviors.

Imago relationship therapy: Imago therapy aims to identify how unmet needs from childhood impact a relationship. It aims to address them using communication skills, empathy, and an open mind.

Narrative therapy: This separates issues from individuals, reshaping the stories they believe about their relationship. This reframing fosters better communication, conflict resolution, and a more positive partnership.

Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT) : This may be helpful for short-term interventions. It focuses on finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems by building on a couple’s strengths.

Since relationship anxiety shares similar symptoms with other anxiety disorders, some doctors may suggest therapy only with the partner with anxiety, such as CBT. Doctors may still ask the non-anxious partner to be part of the treatment plan.

The role of the partner is typically co-therapist. Some people may require medication.

Drugs for anxiety include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and selective noradrenaline reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs ).

Doctors do not yet have guidelines for treating relationship anxiety.

Further investigations into this type of anxiety are necessary to better diagnose and treat it.

How to find online couples therapy and

marriage counseling services

Summary

Relationship anxiety is a form of anxiety that health professionals may find challenging to diagnose and treat.

However, many of the symptoms reported by people with relationship anxiety are common in other forms of anxiety.

Symptoms

of relationship anxiety may include self

-silencing and excessive reassurance-seeking. People with relationship anxiety may also crave acceptance from their partner and fear rejection.

These symptoms can negatively impact the relationship over time. Couples therapy and psychoeducation are different strategies that doctors may offer to people with relationship anxiety.

In severe situations, some doctors may prescribe medication. BetterHelp BetterHelp is an online service created to help you with your mental health.

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